Kulanu Newsletter

Jewish Family Service of Metrowest

Kulanu - Jewish Partners in Parenting

November 2007

In This Issue
	Raising a "Mensch" Three Ways to Instill an Attitude of Gratitude Thankful Tree Thank You Cookies A Place to Share Kulanu Connections JFSMW + JCCGB = PJ LIBRARY Book Review Mark Your Calendars! Community Organizations

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Dear Kelli,

Just a few weeks after the Jewish High Holidays, we begin our preparations for Thanksgiving. While it seems strange not to light the candles or say Kiddush at the festive meal of this most American holiday, other family traditions are inspired by this celebration of freedom. As Thanksgiving approaches, we think about the things in life that we are most thankful for - our family, our health, and our friends. Thanksgiving is an opportunity to be grateful for the everyday joys in our life, our family, our community and the values that we share. A grateful attitude is a wonderful gift to share with our children. This month's Jewish Partners in Parenting newsletter focuses on fostering an attitude of gratitude in our children, not just on Thanksgiving, but all year long.

Raising a "Mensch"

What do we mean when we say that we want our child to be a "mensch" (Yiddish meaning "decent person") when they are older? Every parent strives to have their child grow up to be a caring, honest, and respectful adult, in other words to be a "mensch". This includes having an attitude of gratitude and showing appreciation to others. As soon as our children are verbal, we begin teaching them to say "thank you" to show their appreciation, and beam with pride when they use this phrase unprompted. As our children grow, they will develop and understand the importance of empathy, give-and-take, and respect. While it will take until young adulthood to fully integrate these skills into their being, the process should be introduced at the youngest age and reinforced every day to foster an attitude of gratitude. As parents, what steps can we take to teach and model these behaviors and values?

Three Ways to Instill an Attitude of Gratitude

1. Actions speak louder than words; be a good role model for your children. Look for ways to show your appreciation to others in front of your children. Daily acts of appreciation are important because they are regular reminders of what we have to be thankful for. 2. Establish your own family traditions that encourage gratitude. Friday night provides a wonderful opportunity to take a break from the busy-ness of the week and show appreciation to one another. Go around the table and thank each family member for something special or kind that they did that week. Start with the blessing for your children. The blessings for sons and daughters can be found in Hebrew and English transliteration on the following website: http://www.aish.com/shabb athowto/fridaynight/Blessing_the_Children.asp 3. Teach how to delay gratification. By having to wait for something that they want, kids learn patience and they will also appreciate an item that they have waited for and worked for more than something that was handed to them. When your child asks for something, have them write it on a wish list to be reviewed before a birthday or holiday. You can also use a desired item to teach how to earn and save money.

Thankful Tree

This Thanksgiving, create a "Thankful Tree" to use as the centerpiece on your dinner table. Your family and guests can make the leaves by writing the things for which they are most thankful on each leaf. Adults like this just as much as children. Younger children can draw a picture of something they want to give thanks for on the leaf. Supplies: Flowerpot Art sand Bare tree branch Craft foam Scissors Permanent marker Large ornament hanger or straightened paper clip 1. Fill a flowerpot with sand and set in a shapely bare tree branch. 2. Cut a pile of leaf shapes from colored craft foam. 3. As your guests arrive, have them take a leaf and write their name and the date on one side with a permanent marker 4. Have them write something that they are grateful for on the other side of the leaf. 5. To decorate your tree, push a straightened paper clip through the stem of each leaf and hang it in place on the branch.

Thank You Cookies

Saying "thank you" can be fun and taste good too with these THANK YOU cookies. Instead of sending a traditional card of appreciation, you and your children can make cookies that spell out the words "thank you" and deliver them to your friend to show your gratitude. INGREDIENTS: · 1 cup butter · 1/2 cup sugar · 1 large egg · 1 tablespoon vanilla · 3 cups flour · 1/2 teaspoon baking powder PREPARATION: 1. Preheat oven to 350°. 2. Cream butter and sugar until light 3. Beat in egg and vanilla 4. Sift flour and baking powder together and stir into creamed mixture 5. Refrigerate for about 1 hour or until the dough is firm enough to roll 6. On a floured surface, roll the cookie dough to 1/8 inch thickness 7. Using alphabet cookie cutters, cut out the letters T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U and place them on cookie sheet. 8. Bake 10 to 12 minutes at 350°. 9. Put the cookies on a tray to spell "Thank You" and hand deliver them to your friend. To make it easier, use refrigerator sugar cookies for the dough and either use cookie cutters or use decorating gel and write T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U on each cookie or one letter on each cookie

A Place to Share

Kids may have a hard time coming up with one answer for the question "What are you thankful for?" For a fun way to expand your child's grateful imagination and help them come up with an extensive list of the joys surrounding them, try playing this ABC game. Start with the letter A and go around the table and have everyone provide something that they are thankful for that starts with the letter A (such as Aunt Edie's hugs or My Ant Farm), then move to B, C and so on. Some letters are more difficult than others and you may find yourself laughing at the creativity of your children. As your kids get older, make the game more challenging by making it a memory game. Each person repeats what others have said before providing their own answer. In the day -to-day stresses of our lives we forget the many things there are to be thankful for and we can have fun sharing with one another. - Mindee Meltzer,mother of Ryan, Adam, and Abby. Next month's issue will be built around the theme of diversity and raising Jewish children in an interfaith world. We are looking for your stories to be featured in the December issue of Jewish Partners in Parenting e- letter. Chanukah comes "early" this year; December 5, 2007. How does this affect your family, including grandparents? E-mail your December "dilemma" stories to Mindee Meltzer at mmeltzer@jfsmw. org.

Kulanu Connections

Kulanu CONNECTIONS is an informal group providing social opportunities for women living along the "495 belt" who are looking to make Jewish connections. Kulanu CONNECTIONS focuses on building relationships as part of the larger Jewish community. Events are for women, couples, and families. To be added to the e-vite list contact Natalie Robinson at nataliedrobinson@comcast.net 508-541- 8895. Some of the women who are a part of Kulanu CONNECTIONS programs are devloping an e-mail listserve group to connect to one another in more informal ways. This listserve will enhance informal communication and allow participants to share information and ask each other questions, such as "Where can I find Chanukah candles in Franklin?" It will also facilitate informal gatherings of mothers in the group, such as "I am interested in forming a playgroup on Mondays for 3-4 year olds, please contact me if you are interested." This will be an "add-on" feature to the CONNECTIONS group - if you do not want to participate in the listserve, you will still receive regular Kulanu CONNECTIONS communications (e-mails and e- vites) about scheduled events and general information.

JFSMW + JCCGB = PJ LIBRARY

New! New! New! Jewish Family Service of Metrowest joins forces with the Jewish Community Centers of Greater Boston to bring PJ Library to 1500 families in the greater Boston area! PJ Library is available to families with young children to introduce Jewish concepts and holidays into Jewish homes - homes that foster children's curiosity about their heritage and help families explore their Jewish identity through Jewish books and other media. When you register, your child (aged birth to 6 years) will receive a free, quality Jewish children's book or CD every month for one year. Each book comes with resources to help you use that month's selection in your home. If you want to continue your child's subscription after the first year, it only costs $18. To sign up for PJ Library, please go to www.pjlibrary.org and check Metrowest on the registration form and you will receive your first year's subscription at no cost.

Book Review

Rivka's First Thanksgiving by Elsa Okon Rael Ages 4-7 (32 pages) More than anything, Rivka wants to celebrate Thanksgiving. She has learned all about the holiday in school and knows her family has a lot to be thankful for in America. But Rivka's parents are Jewish immigrants from Poland, and they wonder what Pilgrims and Indians have to do with them. Is Thanksgiving really a holiday for Jews?

Community Organizations

Jewish Family Service of Metrowest 475 Franklin Street Framingham, MA 01702 508-875-3100 www.jfsmw.org Strengthening Lives, Building Community JFS/MW is a non-profit agency providing social and community services throughout the life cycle for people of all ages, faiths, and backgrounds. Temple Etz Chaim 900 Washington Street Franklin, MA 02038 508-528-5337 www.temple-etzchaim.org Temple Beth Torah 2162 Washington Street Holliston, MA 01746 (508) 429-6268 www.bethtorah.org www.interfaithfamily.com Charles River Hadassah www.charlesriver.hadassah.org MetroWest Jewish Day School 29 Upper Joclyn Avenue Framingham, MA 01701 508-620-5554 www.mwjds.org Metrowest JCC 29 Upper Joclyn Avenue Framingham, MA 01701 Phone: 508-879-3300 www.jccgb.org

In our book this month, Rivka's parents ask, "Is Thanksgiving really a holiday for Jews?" 100 years later it seems inconceivable to us that anyone would ever had asked that question. We are so at home here in America. We are grateful that we have found a safe haven here in the United States. Here in America, we are free to be the kind of Jews we want to be. We are grateful for the many blessings of community, education, acceptance and security that we have found here in our country. Whether or not we start each morning with the "Modeh Ani" prayer ("I am thankful to God for giving us another day") or worship together on Shabbat saying "Modim Anchnu" ("We are thankful" ), Thanksgiving is an American holiday that shares its values with traditional Judaism and many other faiths. We are grateful that every month, we can bring you Jewish Partners in Parenting and share the many ways Judaism can enrich our lives and the lives of our families.

Sincerely,

Malka and Mindee

Jewish Family Service of Metrowest

email: myoung@jfsmw.org

phone: 508-875-3100

web: http://www.jfsmw.org