Jewish Family Service of Metrowest
Continuing Connections
NovemberDecember 2007
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Greetings,

Welcome to the November/December edition of the Continuing Connections newsletter. To allow for more time to collect pictures and stories, this issue is the first one on our new distribution schedule. We'll be keeping the same content format but we'll be sending you this newsletter every other month instead of monthly. We hope you enjoy the personal story this month sent to us by one of our proud grandparents and thank you to the families of Amira Boory, Olivia and Gattie Day, Luke Galloway, Maggie Lischer, Dick Neville, Liam Walsh, and Allison White for sharing their photos with us.
A big Welcome Home! to Amira Autumn Boory (birth date 2/24/04). Amira joined her mom, Tammy Boory, on 9/10/07.

- Lucia and Gail

Dad and Katie
by Dick Neville

     I remember how excited my daughter and her husband were when they told me they were planning to adopt a baby. My feelings and those of my wife Helen were a bit more complicated. We were excited, of course, but we were also anxious - not worried, but anxious. The baby was going to be born in California. California's a long way from Massachusetts; we just thought so many things could happen.
     A few months later, Helen and I got a phone call telling us the baby was about to be born. My daughter and her husband got on a plane and hoped to arrive in California in time for the birth. We waited for a call to let us know they had arrived safely, and we waited for the call to let us know the baby had been born. When those calls finally came, we were very relieved. Baby Katie was born; she was healthy, and from what we were told, she was beautiful. With our other grandchildren, this call would have resulted in us driving to the hospital to verify this information ourselves. Katie was our sixth grandchild; we had quite a bit of experience with these things. But this grandchild was 3,000 miles away. There would be no drive to the hospital. We would have to wait, and so many things could happen.
     We waited and waited to meet Katie, but her new family was on the opposite coast of the country for over two weeks. We were anxious while we waited - not worried, but anxious. We thought if they could just get home, it would be okay. Finally, on day fifteen, they boarded a plane headed back to Logan Airport. Helen and I drove up from Connecticut, picked up my sister and Helen's sister and were there waiting to greet them when they departed from the plane. I remember being so surprised seeing my son-in-law, not my daughter, holding the baby. He looked very fatherly, I might add. We milled about the airport, looking at Katie, remarking on how beautiful she was. And yes, my daughter had told me this two weeks earlier but a grandfather likes to see for himself.
     Helen and I spent the next night at Katie's new home. People came to visit, to look at Katie, and to remark on how beautiful she was. I guess it's not just grandfathers who like to see for themselves! As I look back on that visit, my most profound memory is the tangible presence of love that permeated throughout the house. Helen and I talked about it as we went to sleep that night. The presence of love was so real we could both feel it.
     In anticipation of the many visits Katie would make to our house, Helen insisted the baby needed a crib there. We bought a crib and although winter was at least six months away, we also bought a gorgeous pink snowsuit. The snowsuit seemed big to me, but I trusted Helen's expertise in this area. Well, three winters came and went before Katie was ever big enough to fill that snowsuit but she used the crib quite a bit. I remember the visits after she started walking. She would lead us all in a never ending pots and pans parade around the house. With the precision of a parade Grand Marshall and the temperament of a drill sergeant, she led us around and around. Ignoring our requests for relief or respite, refusing to accept any letters of resignation offered, she marched on and expected us to follow suit.
     Katie is a young lady now. She has been the source of many stories I tell my friend. She's the leader I envisioned when I followed her around my house banging my pot and pan. She is healthy. She is happy. She is beautiful. And she is my granddaughter. Yes, so many things can happen when you adopt a grandchild.

Amira Boory
One of the things that make each family special and unique is their traditions. These rituals can be significant like "Adoption Day" celebrating the day a child joined the family or silly like "Pajama Day" celebrating the changing seasons. Regardless of their focus, these traditions foster a sense of belonging in all family members. They can offer children the predictability and consistency that is critical to their development and can provide a sense of family pride.

You can bring some cherished rituals from your own childhood into your family as well as create new ones. Multi-cultural families can create traditions from the cultures and religions represented by the different members of your family. See www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1237 for a description of some holiday traditions from Latin America and Russia as well as some ideas to celebrate Kwanzaa and Chinese New Year. Whatever traditions you choose to develop, keep the children involved. Let them help with planning and making these rituals special. And repeat them year after year to create special family memories.

If you have a new addition to your family and any of your traditions involve travel to relatives or friends homes, keep these tips for traveling handy.
· Maintain a routine as much as possible.
· Bring familiar comfort objects along such as favorite music, blanket or toy.
· Try to schedule your travel during your children's sleep time.
· Stop every hour or two if you are driving to give everyone a chance to stretch their arms and legs and relax.

Maggie L.
Jewish Family Service of Metrowest participated in State Senator Karen Spilka's Third Annual Senior Health and Wellness Fair, held at Ashland High School on Saturday November 17th. This year, the fair featured a panel discussion on "Living with Diabetes." The participants had an opportunity to speak about the diagnosis of this disease and their strategies for living with it. There were also approximately 20 individual booths that provided information and materials on a variety of topics including recent changes in government health insurance programs and nutrition. We are honored that an elder participating in the Jewish Family Service Healthy Partners Program presented a painting she created through the program's Art Group to Senator Spilka. Healthy Partners is a program run at several apartment buildings in Framingham. Its objective is to demonstrate new and cost-effective approaches to helping older seniors continue living in their own homes. Activities address primary causes of preventable institutionalization including isolation, poor management of chronic conditions, poor nutrition, and emotional/cognitive impairment. Healthy Partners connects very old, frail, and isolated seniors with community resources by bringing them on-site and fostering an environment in which residents can support one another.

Allison
Parents' Groups
Join us for one of our upcoming parents' groups:
Day Group - Will meet at JFS, 475 Franklin Street, Suite 101, Framingham from 12 - 2pm on December 13th and January 17th
Evening Group - Will meet at Starbucks in Framingham (near Whole Foods) from 7 - 9 pm on December 12th and January 9th
Relax with other adoptive parents, Lucia and Gail as we share stories, questions and enjoy each other's company. Any questions? Contact Gail at ggregory@jfsmw.org.

Waiting Parents Support Group
Meet with other families who are also in the "waiting" stage of their adoption process. We are considering forming a group to talk, listen, learn and laugh in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. Families who have completed the home study process, and who are now waiting for their placement, are welcome to attend. Please contact Gail at ggregory@jfsmw.org if you are interested in being part of this group.

ACTIVITIES TAKING PLACE ELSEWHERE
Together in Motion
Adoptive Family Mixer at the Together in Motion kids tumble gym and adult exercise studio in Arlington. The mixer will be held each Monday morning from 9:30 am - 11:00 am. $5.00 per child. For more information call 781-643-1377 or visit www.togetherinmotion.com.

First Connections
Emerson Hospital, Route 2, Concord. 978-287-0221 or email mrowlinson@jri.org .
Monthly Education and Support Program: For parents of adopted children age 3+. Meets the third Thursday monthly, 7-9 p.m. R.S.V.P

The Rainbow Connection Playgroup
St. Joseph Parish Center, 145 Holliston St., Medway. 508-533-5820
Meets third Thursday monthly - 9:15 - 10:45 a.m. For parents and their children looking to make meaningful connections with others raising minority children in the suburbs.
Luke
New to this newsletter:

http://relativechoices.blogs.nytimes.com/ - blog in the New York Times concerning Adoption and the American Family
http://www.adoptioninstitute.org - website for the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute whose mission is "To provide leadership that improves adoption laws, policies and practices -through solid research, education and advocacy in order to better the lives of to everyone touched by adoption."

For kids
http://www.adoptionclubhouse.org/

For parents
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com
http://odsacone.org/
http://www.adoptnet.org
http://www.fwcc.org
www.fruanewengland.org

Send us your favorite websites and resources!
Allison W.
Since 1982, Adoption Choices, a non-profit, licensed adoption program, has been providing Massachusetts families with comprehensive adoption services. Our program is designed to meet the needs of the adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees by providing a wide range of educational and counseling services. For more information, please visit our website at: Adoption Choices of JFS/MW.

Please send us comments and suggestions; we want this to be your newsletter. Let us know about books, movies, etc. you think others would enjoy. Keep us informed of adoption/family related events in your area and we'd be happy to share them. Please forward this email to friends, family and colleagues by using the "forward me" link at the bottom of the page.
We would like to thank the following people who contributed to this issue: Dick Neville, Dale Eldridge, and Raquel Woodard.

Sincerely,

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Lucia Carballo and Gail Gregory
Jewish Family Service of Metrowest

phone: 508-875-3100