Anna's Story
Over the years, we have helped many people become families through our Adoption program. Anna, age 18, came to speak at a Board Meeting, and since then stands out in our minds and hearts. She remembers her past clearly, and can recall her life before being adopted. Lucia Carballo, a JFS/MW staff member, sat down with Anna to hear her story.
I had heard about Anna before she came to chat with me. She had spoken at a Board of Directors meeting and I was told that everyone in the room wept as she shared her story. I thought to myself that any high-school student who can stand in front of a room of 35 strangers and move them to tears must be something special. And she is.
I asked Anna if I could interview her for this newsletter and she agreed to once again share with a stranger her experience of being adopted.
Anna is from Russia. She was two years old when she and her sister, who was four, were placed in an orphanage because they were neglected by their birth parents. Although she was young, Anna says she remembers a few things about living with her birth parents - mostly bad things, like not having enough food.
When I ask Anna what it was like at the orphanage she first describes the physical space. “It was huge. There was a pool, a movie theatre, and we had our own school.” She then recounts that they were not allowed to use the pool because it was too deep and they could not go to the school until they were seven years old. They could see a film at the movie theatre every Thursday after their weekly baths.
Anna recalls having lots of friends at the orphanage. She speaks fondly of a stray dog that became their pet. She remembers that the teenagers there sometimes attempted suicide.
The caretakers at the orphanage made a mixed impression on Anna. She tells me about one mean one who once punished a young boy for speaking when he was in fact asleep. Some caretakers, however, were very nice. Anna smiles as she tells me about a few caretakers who would walk the children to their homes and give them a treat of watermelon and Russian bread.
With the insight and thoughtfulness of someone much older than eighteen, Anna tells me about the mixed feelings she had when families would come and adopt one of her friends. “Even though I felt happy for them, it was hard not to be the one going.”
One day when she was 7 years old, Anna was shocked when the caretakers at the orphanage told her that she and her sister Veronika were going to be adopted. They showed them a photo album that their mother had sent from America, dressed them up, brought them out and said “There’s your mom.”
Anna smiles. “I just ran towards her, yelled MOM and leapt into her arms.”
Coming to America had its complexities. At the orphanage, Anna’s sister Veronika was her ‘mom’, her protector. Here, at first it was difficult for both to adjust – now Veronika could be just a kid, and Anna had to adapt to having her as a sister and not a mother.
Anna has a strong sense of self. It’s what allows her to speak about these very personal memories. She is comfortable admitting that it was sometimes difficult adjusting to a new country, a new language, and a new life, without letting that get in the way of the love she has for her mother or her life here.
The love Anna has for her mother is unmistakable. You can tell by the look in her eyes when she says “Mom” instead of “my mother.”
At her high school, Anna started a group for children who were adopted. They speak to prospective parents about their experiences. They share common and different experiences with each other - adjusting to lives so different than the ones in which they began.
Now a senior at Brookline High School, Anna hopes to go locally to college and maybe become a doctor. Her bright eyes light up as she talks animatedly about her future. Although we had never met before this day, she gives me a warm hug at the end of the interview.
Anna has often left her imprint on someone – her family, friends, prospective parents and adopted children - and this time I was the fortunate recipient. I have no doubt that with her warm personality and caring ways, Anna will continue to succeed and make a striking impact on everyone she meets.
